Today’s blog is a rare insight and brief touch on my own journey, as a step-child, and as a step-mom.
This is a significant part of my life, but it has never received such in-depth public discussion before, and I hope you find it valuable.
But before you listen, I want to give some reflections that weren’t gone over in the show specifically…
In my vernacular, blended family definition is when a non-biological person is in a committed relationship with a biological parent and helping raise children. Sometimes both people in the committed relationship are biological parents and the other is helping to raise their children and sometimes one person is a biological parent and the other is not.
The latter is my case.
I’ve been clear from a very early age that I was not interested in birthing children. I always saw that there would be children in my life, but based on the traumatic nature of my upbringing and knowing there were so many children in the world who needed love, my view was that I would adopt.
Then I fell in love with a man who lived across the country and had 4 children. It was the absolute most difficult move and transition I’ve had in my life to date. And I would not change it for the world.
Since listening to this episode and doing some research on step-parenting, I’ve seen the term “stepmom outsider syndrome”
I wish I would have had that terminology when I was going through it.
I felt like an outsider of the family in many ways for a very long time and it made me react in ways to my partner, his ex-wife, and the children that I am still working on fully forgiving myself for.
I also wish I would have known of an amazing stepparent coach like Amy Stone of Amy Says So to have helped me through the transition.
There were days where I was extremely ugly due to my insecurity.
I had many friends who said I made it look easy.
It was not.
There were more tears and vodka filled nights than I care to admit – I DO talk about that in the episode…
Other things you can expect to hear in this episode include:
- What to do when step-parent feeling left out
- How to navigate when a step-parent hates the stepchild (thankfully this was not my situation)
- How to navigate step-parent struggles
In summary, the only way out is through – step-parenting is a rarely discussed topic in a constructive and positive lens.
Amy and I do that here (you can listen below), and that is what she does on her show.
If you are a step-parent and are needing support through this difficult family dynamic, please get support where you feel called. I highly recommend Amy Stone of Amy Says So!
If you’re interested in getting help to feel more confident in any other area of your life, feel free to contact me directly
I’m sending you so much love and peace on your journey!
Celeste Hartwell
Celeste Hartwell