You know in the cartoons when a character gets an idea and they have the little thought bubble drifting from their head and it normally has an exclamation point or lightbulb in it?
That’s what it was like for me that morning.
It was the morning that my entire romantic life changed…
And I wasn’t in a relationship.
I had been desperately single for a while and I mean desperate…
After a horrible divorce and many years of dating around, my heart had been through the wringer and my reserves were low.
So there I was, getting ready for work at the bathroom sink when something bolted in my brain.
This is where if I had been a cartoon, I would have had the thought bubble drifting away from my head.
It felt like the light had been turned on brighter in the room with this realization…
It felt as though my eyes were finally open to this truth that I had been blind to before…
The realization was this: If I don’t love myself, how will I ever expect anyone else to love me…
If I don’t treat myself well, how can anyone else ever know how to treat me?
How can I teach someone else what I want if I’m not in integrity with it myself?
Whoa.
Let that sink in for a moment.
I’m in charge of how I’m treated.
I’m the first person who needs to show myself love.
Not my parents. Not my siblings. Not even my friends who choose to be in my life.
And most definitely, not a lover.
I. Am. In. Charge. Of. Me.
As much as I knew this was a huge realization, I honestly didn’t know how big it was until later, because within a matter of months after that shift, I met my current husband and we have the most beautiful partnerships I’ve ever witnessed or experienced…
And I remember specific instances in the beginning of our relationship where I had to put my foot down about how he was treating me in certain circumstances…I had to teach him how I was to be treated.
I had to mirror the love I had for myself so he could learn how to love me. I had to have healthy boundaries for myself before he could learn what those were.
So that brings me to my question for you today…What actions do you feel like others are doing to you that you’re allowing or doing to yourself as well?
How are other people mirroring your own behavior?
Remember: This applies to all people…It doesn’t have to be romantic partners…It can also be business colleagues, clients and family members.
This is a tough question, I know. I utilize it often when I’m triggered by someone else’s actions.
And often it is frustrating to see how the things I don’t like in myself are mirrored back to me from others, but I encourage you to do some soul searching around the situations that upset you.
What are these people teaching you in those moments? How do you want to be treated? How can you treat yourself better starting today??
That is my loving note for you today and I hope you can find more forgiveness, compassion and deep commitment to yourself beginning today!
Until next week…
Yours in writing and Divine Feminine Leadership,
